Yesterday, I entered the second part of this winding road through chemo land.
But the journey started a while back. Before July 8, my life was one of careless joy. Joy for having found my true other half, now nineteen years ago. Joy when seeing our children grow up, embracing life. Professional joy for the expertise I have built over twenty years and that I am so passionate about. Joy for the horses we are grateful to own.
My husband and I muse that the world may really be ruled by horses. Their humans work hard to be able to continue to afford them. While they are off laboring, the horses get their boxes cleaned, and fresh food is served. They enjoy the pasture, and then go on to relax in their box. When their human appears after office hours, they are ready for a sweet ride and the inevitable treat that follows for horse-worthy behavior.
Problems… when a problem arose, I used to easily wave it: “If those are our problems, we don’t have any.” Now I have a problem. Blessed with a loving family, friends, and a capable oncologist, I have embarked on what mostly has been a journey of hope. Yet sometimes, when the harsh reality catches up with me, I feel utter frustration. Or worse, when there is a deviation from My Master Plan of Swift Recovery, desperation kicks in. As such, during those past months, I have lived through a roller coaster of strong emotions previously unknown to me.
You live your life as you live each day. I am profoundly convinced that we are the architects of our own happiness, no matter what. And the good moments in those past months have been numerous.
Too many women go through breast cancer treatment. We are all different: before learning we developed breast cancer, how we live through the treatment, and what we expect to find after. What works for me doesn’t work for everyone. But I would be honored if I could contribute to inspiring other women on their journey. As for me, writing my story, is part of my healing process.